Queuing

I know it's our age old tradition in Britain. We like to queue, there is something nationally precise about our queuing etiquette.

Here - Italians hate queuing. They have to have a system that dishes out numbers so that everyone can stand along the front of the meat counter and not feel like they're in a queue, although they have to wait until their number comes up.

Now in some shops this means your entrances to vicinities can be strategically chosen. For instance, this week I went into our local baker, 200 metres away (I love that), and I chose to enter through the door that was closest to the ticket dispensing machine. This turned out to be a stroke of genius because - I was next. There was no question about it, the place had one old lady in there before me and nobody else, so I took my ticket, no. 66.

Now old ladies love taking their time in bakers, despite hating having to spend any time in there if they're not the one ordering! So there was ample time for two women to join me and stand right in front of the glass as if they hadn't even seen me. So, the third lady who had entered protested that she was the rightful next customer to be served once the old lady had finished. Well, just as my blood was boiling I said in my best Italian:
'Sono prima',
that means 'I'm first' and as the lady looked as me as if to say, 'Oh you're really going to take me on?', the bakery lady asked me:

'What number does your ticket say?'.
I said '66'.

And then she asked the other lady:

'What number does your ticket say?'
and she said 'Well 67'.

Ha ! Sooooo not only did I take her on, I beat her at her own pseudo queuing game. Oh and the lady who hadn't taken a ticket at all, well, she was completely screwed!

There are serious queuing issues for old people here. It seems their desperation of running out of time is really brought to the surface when faced with a supermarket queue. I don't know if they're thinking they're wasting what time they have left but I do know there are some definite rules as to how to get in front of the cue.

Rule 1. Annoy the person in front as much as possible in the hope that you annoy them enough to get them to move to another cue altogether.
Rule 2. Count and inspect the produce the people in front are buying as if to say 'Well I have a third of what you have so why should I waste my precise minutes for your greed!' This can also be accompanied with a look of disgust - it's pretty effective.
Rule 3. Stick close. You can really get on someone's nerves if every time they take a step forward your breathing down their neck. (Having said that most old ladies are really small here, so it's more like breathing down their backs?!)

Anyway those are the ones I'm aware of, and they seemed to be used to good effect!


Ciao